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Thursday, December 11, 2008
Edited th previous post.Sorry, This post will be so damm random. Suddenly, i felt life is just, like that. I remembered in the past, I was borned w/ some kind of problem with my eyes. I was borned like that. & Doctor wanted to give me operation but i was still very young and so my grandma doesn't want me t go through operation. Up till primary school, doctor still ask me to think about it. I thought for so long, i still don't have the courage. With that problem, i got laughed so many times during pri sch. I wasn't that kind of popular & pretty girl in primary sch. My studies wasn't that good too. I treated people very well but i got bullied easily. In sec sch, i was still considering whether to go through operation. Before i go through eye operation, i got nose operation. What else can i say, nose operation is scary. Vomiting out blood that time. I swear i don't want the second time. In the middle, i went for gastric scope & stuffs costing my mum A BOMB. Eating medicine which costs like fuck. Relatives started saying me. In secondary school, i wokeup, i studied everyday. I was the top student in class every year & sememster for the first 2 yrs. But just 2 yrs, i swear IT'S ENOUGH. 2 yrs, i got laughed for my eye problem too. Almost everyday, people & classmates picked on me. except my cliques & best friends who are there for me. I cried everyday at home after school. I hold onto my tears everyday. Teachers dote on me. I scored well but classmates isnt happy for me at all. Even if i put my hard work all in, they will find reasons to pick on me. I decided t go through operation. Then, many things have changed since then. You see, people are like that. But it's okay, i forgive easily. But i will never forget, you see so many years has passed but it's still in my memories. after sec 2 i can say i am like, from ugly duckling changed alrdy. from young, i am like, fugly. even guys make fun of me. Guys you know? You people wont know how they make fun of me! You guys will never know.. So you see? can you imagine being me? Not enough. After all these, my happy family started to like.. I got nothing to say, My mum's down onto some illness when everybody thinks nothing can cure. Family nearly collapse. My dad seems like he wants my mother to die. My mum got worst & many illness. You won't understand how i feel then. I cried everyday again. thinking i did nothing wrong but why must all these happen to me? I don't understand, i felt life was unfair then. After long time, she's fine & after some time, it nearly started all over again. My family put all the hope on me & i dissapointed them again & again. On and off on and off all the time in my family.. . . . and on and on ....
11:06 PM
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